u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
