Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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