So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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