Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
