Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
