She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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