Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
As shirtless as possible
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
