is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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