Where is the hickey?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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