do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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