we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
