You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
