PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
