your parents love me but you hate me
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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