he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
