Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
