Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
