She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
