guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
