I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
