I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
