Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
