Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
