absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
