I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I wish I only lived at night.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
