ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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