How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
