Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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