Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
