um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
