Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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