Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
