just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize