So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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