all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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