Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
