I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Green mimosas i think yes
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
