you guys were way drunker than both of me
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
