On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize