I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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