I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
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