So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
