Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
