the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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