last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
