You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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