Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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