My brain says no but my pants say off.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
