I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
