i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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