as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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