I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
