well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
