i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
