Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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