Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I deserve to be covered in dicks
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
