good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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