Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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