I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Randomize
