Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
