I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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