Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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