watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize