shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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