Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
