i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Alive.
So much puke
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
