lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
