i would punch a child for taco bell
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
